DON'T WANT TO BE ANOREXIC.
Formerly - dontwanttobeaverage
Read below first ☺
My name's Kasia. I'm an 18 year old girl
in recovery who's recovered from Anorexia. I've had Anorexia since May 2010. I also suffer from severe depression, anxiety and some OCD tendencies.
I've been in recovery since September 2010, but I only began taking recovery seriously, and wanting it for myself, in January 2011, once I realised I was wasting my life in hospital.
I went into hospital at the end of October 2010 and left in March 2011. I went to hell and back there.
I am at a healthy weight recommended for my height, but I will not discuss my weight or height because I believe any discussion of numbers leads to a disordered competition, so please do not ask.
I'm trying to lead a healthier lifestyle, whilst inspiring my followers to do the same by choosing recovery.
This is where I will write about my ups and my downs, and I hope to show those of you with eating disorders that recovery doesn't mean "getting fat". It means leading a healthy and happy life with freedom. My posts will mostly consist of personal posts, inspirational photos or quotes, research into the psychology of eating disorders, and also a few items on fitness and nutrition.
My daddy has a page on my blog called "The Gospel According to Dad" which I'm hoping will show you how much your ED affects those around you, and maybe if a parent of an eating disordered child sees my blog, they will see that they're not alone in this experience either.
Think of this as a recovery blog, but if are you triggered by talk of exercise then please read with caution as I sometimes post about my workouts. This is a place that inspires recovery, and also a healthy lifestyle.
I love giving advice, so if you need help with anything, I'm always here for you, even if it's just as a distraction. And you can always contact me by tagging a post with dontwanttobeanorexic.I answer privately if it's unrelated to me/my food posts/my blog. br>
• Snippets of my story
• Posts I am most proud of
• The Gospel According to Dad
• Amazon Wishlist
• Fashion, Beauty and DIY blog
• ED Behaviours Challenge
• Nothing you confess, could make me love you less. (Ask)
Don't want to be anorexic.
Anonymous asked: I realise you gained some weight from binging and were trying to lose a little, in a healthy way. Has that gone ok? Do you have any tips? Also, what is the relationship like with your Dad at the mo?
I just realised weight fluctuates a lot. I lost a bit, I gained a bit back, I was more lean two weeks ago than today, but that’s okay. A month from now I may be leaner, and that’s also okay. I’m just learning not to fuss about it so much, way more to life than that. Like I just made croissants with my dad and I’d rather eat three of those with him and enjoy them than not allow myself to enjoy them because I want abs. My advice would be dont restrict, for obvious reasons, fuel your body with natural foods, but allow yourself a “treat” when your body wants one. balance balance balance! and try to learn to love yourself for reasons that arent weight or appearance - youre a good person, you deserve to feel that way.
And me and dad are good :) he’s been away a lot on business recently so this is the first weekend I’ve spent with him in a while and Christmas is soon so we’ll hang out lots then. It’s so cute you care about me, awwwwww!
• 1 December 2013 • 1 note
Anonymous asked: What's your eating like at the moment? And your exercise routine?
In a word, normal. Eat what I want, eating lots of things that are good for the soul (Ben and Jerry’s) and exercise when I’m not too tired from college which is maybe once a week tbh because college is killing me.
• 30 November 2013 • 4 notes
Truer words have never been spoken
• 27 November 2013 • 35 notes
Anonymous asked: kasia, kasia, kasia, your name is so lovely and so beautiful and so are you. have a glorious day!
• 7 November 2013
Anonymous asked: How do you find good London raves that aren't too dodgy? I went to zombie stomp last night, any you know of like that soon?
Zombie stomp was live innit, I’m so dead now.
Probably the next big one on that level will be new years
• 3 November 2013
I know I don’t post so much anymore
but please none of you ever hesitate to contact me if you need advice. I’m always here in the background, keeping up with how you guys are doing.
So please, if you have anything you want help with, please send me a message. At least so that you’re not bottling it up.
P.S. If you go to my school and you think there’s something I could help with you (ED, depression, self-harm, etc,) please send me a message if you want to. I know I sometimes look really angry and unapproachable at school but that’s just because… school, and I’m actually always up for a chat.
• 31 October 2013 • 6 notes
Anonymous asked: Do I have an ed? My BMI is 22.3 so healthy, I went through a phase of throwing up but I often binge and feel guilty. I don't throw it up but I also don't like pictures being taken of me because I'm fat-it's not serious, but is there something wrong with me?! Also I went throigh a week of starving and lost 7lb x
I can’t diagnose you with any specific, but what you do have is disordered thoughts and disordered eating. Your weight is only a symptom of your eating disorder, not the defining aspect. Your mind and food habits suggest eating disorder to me. And from your next question about being obsessed with thigh gaps, it also points to an unhealthy body image.
• 30 October 2013
Anonymous asked: Ah I'd love to but I'm thinking that might a bit creepy, but thank you :)
It wouldn’t be creepy if you came up to me and said hi! Well, you’re sweet anyway and I wish you the best
• 24 October 2013
Anonymous asked: Kasia I wish I had the confidence to talk to you at school because honestly I think you are so amazing and inspirational and sometimes I just wanna hug you ♡
Please do! I really don’t bite. I would love that! Do come up to me and I’ll give you a big hug x
• 24 October 2013 • 1 note
Anonymous asked: Kasia you are so awesome <3 I love you. I'm so glad you have come so far and now I can get to know other interesting aspects of your life, keep going! you are very inspiring :D
Thank you! xx
• 21 October 2013
Anonymous asked: Aw how did you get the job in waitrose? I've applied so many times online and not got an interview! :(
Stroke of luck really because they were opening a new section of the store so had a lot of new staff to hire.
• 17 October 2013 • 1 note
Anonymous asked: My BMI is 18.5-9 but I am still not eating enough and I am hungry all of the time, and obsessed with my weight. But I don't know what to do because I've gained 10kg already. Sorry.
You need to eat more. You’re brain doesn’t function without food and so is still in the “anorexic” mindset. Up your calories, bare with the water weight and let your body figure itself out rather than trying to control it.
• 17 October 2013 • 1 note
Anonymous asked: You're beautiful and kind. If you're struggling emotionally then you don't have to do it alone. You can talk to people around you, and if you feel like there's no one, you have me. X
You are so kind and lovely.
I have my mummy to talk to (even if she doesn’t say the right things 87% of time) and my dad when he get’s back from business and I have some friends that are in the year she was in so I can talk to them.
Ultimately, I know it will just take time.
But thank you, I love you x
• 15 October 2013 • 1 note
Anonymous asked: TW help, I'm in inpatient but I feel like I'm not sick enough. my BMI is 17 but so many other people here have way lower BMIs so I feel fat and like I don't belong here. I feel like they all think I'm big and that I don't have a problem or something. it's hard seeing so many people who are worse off than I am without getting an extreme urge to relapse to prove myself. I started doing food rituals again at meal times just to prove that I do have anorexia.. this is so hard to be surrounded by them
Anorexia is anorexia. There is no “more” anorexic or “better” anorexic. There is just anorexic. You are it. You are underweight. You are having disordered thoughts. There is no award they give you which means you’re an Official Anorexic.
Being inpatient should be enough of a wake up call as it is, but I’ll spell it out to you - getting worse will only lead to death. There won’t come a point where you’ll say “Oh, actually I think I’m anorexic enough and I’m ready to stop.” No, that just won’t happen. Recover now. Cut off the thoughts now. Don’t let them grow inside of you as you shrink. It’s not worth it.
I’m not going to sugar coat it, because truth is anorexia is a disease of selfishness and self indulgence. All those other people with don’t give two shits how much you weigh - only how much they weigh (even when they look at you, they are thinking about their own weight in relation to you and they will always think they are heavier than everyone, no matter who they’re looking at - just like you do.)
You’re in competition with yourself and no one else, and you need to forfeit before it’s too late. One thing that actually helped me was reversing my perfectionism. I stopped competing with myself on how sick I could get and instead decided to try to “win” at recovery and beating my own ED.
• 15 October 2013 • 6 notes