My name's Kasia. I'm a 17 year old girl in recovery who's recovered from Anorexia. I've had Anorexia since May 2010. I also suffer from severe depression, anxiety and some OCD tendencies.
I've been in recovery since September 2010, but I only began taking recovery seriously, and wanting it for myself, in January 2011, once I realised I was wasting my life in hospital.
I went into hospital at the end of October 2010 and left in March 2011. I went to hell and back there.
I am at a healthy weight recommended for my height, but I will not discuss my weight or height because I believe any discussion of numbers leads to a disordered competition, so please do not ask.
I'm trying to lead a healthier lifestyle, whilst inspiring my followers to do the same by choosing recovery.
This is where I will write about my ups and my downs, and I hope to show those of you with eating disorders that recovery doesn't mean "getting fat". It means leading a healthy and happy life with freedom. My posts will mostly consist of personal posts, inspirational photos or quotes, research into the psychology of eating disorders, and also a few items on fitness and nutrition.
My daddy has a page on my blog called "The Gospel According to Dad" which I'm hoping will show you how much your ED affects those around you, and maybe if a parent of an eating disordered child sees my blog, they will see that they're not alone in this experience either.
Think of this as a recovery blog, but if are you triggered by talk of exercise then please read with caution as I sometimes post about my workouts. This is a place that inspires recovery, and also a healthy lifestyle.
I love giving advice, so if you need help with anything, I'm always here for you, even if it's just as a distraction. And you can always contact me by tagging a post with dontwanttobeanorexic.I answer privately if it's unrelated to me/my food posts/my blog. br>
Anonymous asked: tonight i'm having a meal with my family and i'm so nervous because i won't know the calories exactly but i know it will be a lot. I really want to enjoy the meal with my family do you have any tips on how i could possibly try and feel better about it? xx
Well, enjoy it as a social event. Food brings people together :) you don’t eat out everyday so this won’t have any effect on your weight, its just a treat. Savour and enjoy your food :) pick something you WANT to eat, not what your eating disorder wants and completely enjoy the flavors. Have good conversation with the people your with and mix the two experiences together xx
I know I’ve been promising this for ages and it might be a bit of anticlimax but I can’t afford a really extravagant giveaway so I hope you can all appreciate my intentions :)
In the package:
Cocoa butter cream, for fading self-harm scars.
A butterfly tattoo, to use in a similar way to The Butterfly Project.
A non-metal hair elastic. When I was in hospital, I would use this in place of cutting by snapping the band against my skin - it gave some release without actually harming myself.
Nail dip usually used to prevent nail biting, but it’s incredibly useful for stopping purging if you use it.
A teddy, just for comfort.
A de-stress facemask.
A set of bath bombs, to treat yourself and give yourself a pampering.
A small canvas to paint on when you’re in need of distraction.
(Not pictured) A set of dot stickers, similar to the ones I use, that you stick around the house and when you see an item with a sticker, you pay yourself a compliment until it becomes a natural habit.
(Not pictured) A few health bars, like Nakd or Trek.
(Not pictured) A box of Yogi tea of your choice.
(The box insn’t included because I realised it raises postage price without having much practical use for recovery, so I’m sorry it’s in the pic.)
I’ve tried to make the tool kit unisex :-)
I know this isn’t anything cool like an iPhone or some cool clothes, but these things and the techniques you can learn from them really helped me in recovery and I hope they can do the same for you. These items aren’t expensive, and they’re available probably wherever you are, so if you don’t win, but you can see how these items would help you, I urge you to buy a similar recovery tool kit :-)
Anonymous asked: Do you ever feel guilty about having the ability to recover in a way that most don't? This sounds bad, it's not! I don't want to sound like I'm being offensive, I just know there are quite a few of us on Tumblr who feel like recovery is so much more of a struggle because the food we'd like to eat is so expensive and gyms are too expensive and PTs aren't even worth considering. Peanut butter is somewhat of a luxury for me! I don't know anyone else who answers honestly so I thought I'd ask you.
I don’t really know what you’re trying to ask, but my family is by no means rich if that’s what you’re trying to insinuate. I am fortunate enough that my PT is free as a favor to me and my mother, but regardless, I didn’t see him during my recovery so its moot. My mother is very skilled at utilizing food coupons and offers, and buying in bulk in order to make sure we spend the bare minimum.
Whatever it is you’re trying to say, I’d like to say my recovery had only to do with my own strength and willpower. I won’t lie, I was a bit offended by this message as I feel you undermined my strength to recover by putting it down to any privileges I was fortunate enough to have.
Anonymous asked: Congratulations on recovering! It is wonderful that you fought so hard and succeeded! What does being recovered mean to you? What made you realise that you'd finally recovered?
Thank you <3
I hate this question though because it’s hard to answer! I don’t know, I don’t think about every calorie that enters my mouth, I don’t feel the need to exercise to make up for what I ate, or eat less the day after I’ve treated myself, I no longer hate my body, I see my flaws and work on improving my relationship with them and I learn to pick out my good points, I don’t know, I just don’t feel like I did a year or two ago. I feel normal.
shakyleg asked: Hey Kash, you seem to be handling these stupid bullshit anon messages really well but just in case they ever make you doubt yourself: you aren't up yourself at all. It is so refreshing to see someone actually like themselves and be living a normal, amazing life. Your blog actually makes me happy and I find it weird that some people are upset/jealous that you're living it. Just my ramblings at 5am xxx
Thank you ever so much for this message. It means a lot xx
Again, I ask the age old question, “what do you gain from sending me a message like this?” Did it make you feel big? Did you feel powerful? Really how does this help you in anyway?
Your feelings towards me are your problem. I frankly do not care for them. If you don’t like me or what I do, simply don’t go on my blog. Avoid me. It might give you time to re-evaluate yourself as a human being, because clearly you are not a kind one.
This is the first piece of hate I’ve gotten since starting my blog almost 2 years ago so I must be doing something right. Handle that better, instead of being a little bitch about it.
Anonymous asked: I think the distinction between subjective & objective binges are relevant when thinking about 'binging' during recovery. In that if it is purely physical binge (i.e. because you ARE hungry) as opposed to an emotional binge (trying to fill a gap left by the absence of something else!). The former is likely after restricting, the motivation & reasons for binging need to be looked at before saying whether it's normal or not :) There is a difference between feeding an undernourished body & binging.