Be the change
DON'T WANT TO BE ANOREXIC.
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Don't want to be anorexic.
Formerly - dontwanttobeaverage
Read below first ☺
My name's Kasia. I'm a 17 year old girl in recovery who's recovered from Anorexia. I've had Anorexia since May 2010. I also suffer from severe depression, anxiety and some OCD tendencies.
I've been in recovery since September 2010, but I only began taking recovery seriously, and wanting it for myself, in January 2011, once I realised I was wasting my life in hospital.
I went into hospital at the end of October 2010 and left in March 2011. I went to hell and back there.
I am at a healthy weight recommended for my height, but I will not discuss my weight or height because I believe any discussion of numbers leads to a disordered competition, so please do not ask.
I'm trying to lead a healthier lifestyle, whilst inspiring my followers to do the same by choosing recovery.
This is where I will write about my ups and my downs, and I hope to show those of you with eating disorders that recovery doesn't mean "getting fat". It means leading a healthy and happy life with freedom. My posts will mostly consist of personal posts, inspirational photos or quotes, research into the psychology of eating disorders, and also a few items on fitness and nutrition.
My daddy has a page on my blog called "The Gospel According to Dad" which I'm hoping will show you how much your ED affects those around you, and maybe if a parent of an eating disordered child sees my blog, they will see that they're not alone in this experience either.
Think of this as a recovery blog, but if are you triggered by talk of exercise then please read with caution as I sometimes post about my workouts. This is a place that inspires recovery, and also a healthy lifestyle.
I love giving advice, so if you need help with anything, I'm always here for you, even if it's just as a distraction. And you can always contact me by tagging a post with dontwanttobeanorexic.I answer privately if it's unrelated to me/my food posts/my blog.
• Face
• Snippets of my story
• Posts I am most proud of
• The Gospel According to Dad
• Intake
• Recipes
• Amazon Wishlist
• Contact
• Fashion, Beauty and DIY blog
• ED Behaviours Challenge
• Nothing you confess, could make me love you less. (Ask)
Don't want to be anorexic.
Anonymous asked: What was the clicking point with you - the point where you realised that you wanted to recover?
I think I was about two months into my hospital stay, either just before, or just after New Years of 2011, and I just decided I didn’t want to be stuck in hospital for the rest of my life.
Before I’d wanted to be that sickly little girl everyone felt sorry for, but eventually that niche wore off. I got sick of people staring at me in the streets when I was allowed, or offering me seats on the train. I began to hate the innocent curiosity with which little children would ask “Mummy, what’s that girl got in her nose?” as I walked past. I didn’t want to be pitied any longer.
My friends were all preparing for their GCSEs and what was I doing? Simply trying to survive, and even that was exhausting. I just didn’t want to feel that way anymore, I finally wanted to be normal. I don’t know why I switched like that. I think I really was just tired of struggling to stay alive and I didn’t have the heart to die on my parents so I pushed the other way, I pushed to get better, not worse.
And when I did, I saw the life in my parent’s eyes come back. They slowly became more human, and not so ghostly, as I had made them. The nurses would no longer sigh wearily as I sat down to stare at my plate, because instead I would actually eat. They would point to me as an example to the other girls in bay, and I found a new sense of pride in that, in being the one who’d get out first and show them that it’s possible.
I made stir fry from scratch! Brown rice, cod, egg whites, onions, garlic, mushrooms, chili oil, black pepper and Bragg’s aminos. All to me, mmmmmm!
♡[๏ᴥ๏]♡ MASSIVE NATURAL AND CRUELTY-FREE BEAUTY PRODUCT GIVEAWAY ♡[๏ᴥ๏]♡
So i promised another huge giveaway for all my lovely followers in order to give them the opportunity to experience some of my favorite beauty products - and here it is! They’ll help keep all external parts of your glowing with radiance - and smelling great too :) These fifteen amazing, high-quality products together are valued at around $170 - so it’s an absolutely awesome prize to receive!
PRODUCTS INCLUDE:
- formula 10.0.6 passionfruit and green tea daily foaming cleanser
- formula 10.0.6 peppermint and coconut calming breakout mask
- formula 10.0.6 sea kelp and calendula oil-absorbing mud mask
- bellaboo facial exfoliator with organic sea buckthorn berry and rice bran powder
- bellaboo moisturizer with organic sea buckthorn berry and ylang flower
- beauty essentials pure rosehip oil
- lucas’ papaw ointment
- lush “vanillary” perfume stick
- lush “sweet lips” vanilla and chocolate sugar lip scrub
- witch hazel blemish stick
- organix smoothing shea butter conditioner
- palmers’ cocoa butter formula with vitamin E shampoo
- palmers’ cocoa butter formula with vitamin E conditioner
- st. ives exfoliating apricot scrub
- moroccan oil hair treatment
TOTAL APPROXIMATE GIVEAWAY VALUE: OVER $170
THE RULES:
1. You must be following me, favorite-recipes, as i’ll be checking every reblog & I’mextremely thorough
2. Reblogs only, likes will not count
3. The more you reblog this post, the higher your chances are of winning!
4. Must reach a minimum of 500 notes
5. The winner will be picked through a random number generator
I am willing to ship anywhere worldwide, and you must be willing to give me your address if you are chosen as the winner - or the prize will be given to another entrant.
THE WINNER WILL BE DRAWN ON JUNE 5TH, 2013
I wish you all the best of luck! ⫕｡◕‿‿◕｡⫖
These are reminder cards I made for myself whilst in hospital.
When I was scared about recovery, I’d look at them.
Where it says something about “going home”, you can replace that with whatever goal you want to achieve, like rejoining your dance team, or graduating, or anything.
Please consider sponsoring me in The Color Run to raise money for Beat
On the 14th of July, I will be participating in The Color Run. I want to take this opportunity to raise money for beat: fundraising to beat eating disorders, a cause very close to my heart. If you could by just click on this page, read my story and consider donating, it would mean an awful lot to me. I have over 2,000 followers on here, so if everyone donated just £1, that would be over £2,000 for Beat. You can also donate by texting KASH95 followed by £1, £2, £3, £4, £5 or £10 to 70070 (e.g. KASH95 £10) I’m aware some of you may not be in the financial position to donate anything, so I would appreciate if you could instead share this post. Thank you x
When you donate, you can be entered into my Recovery Giveaway (Just read what you have to do to make sure it’s accounted for.)
(via 9-emotions)
My Recovery Care Package Giveaway!
I know I’ve been promising this for ages and it might be a bit of anticlimax but I can’t afford a really extravagant giveaway so I hope you can all appreciate my intentions :)
In the package:
- Cocoa butter cream, for fading self-harm scars.
- A butterfly tattoo, to use in a similar way to The Butterfly Project.
- A non-metal hair elastic. When I was in hospital, I would use this in place of cutting by snapping the band against my skin - it gave some release without actually harming myself.
- Nail dip usually used to prevent nail biting, but it’s incredibly useful for stopping purging if you use it.
- A teddy, just for comfort.
- A de-stress facemask.
- A set of bath bombs, to treat yourself and give yourself a pampering.
- A small canvas to paint on when you’re in need of distraction.
- (Not pictured) A set of dot stickers, similar to the ones I use, that you stick around the house and when you see an item with a sticker, you pay yourself a compliment until it becomes a natural habit.
- (Not pictured) A few health bars, like Nakd or Trek.
- (Not pictured) A box of Yogi tea of your choice.
(The box insn’t included because I realised it raises postage price without having much practical use for recovery, so I’m sorry it’s in the pic.)
I’ve tried to make the tool kit unisex :-)
I know this isn’t anything cool like an iPhone or some cool clothes, but these things and the techniques you can learn from them really helped me in recovery and I hope they can do the same for you. These items aren’t expensive, and they’re available probably wherever you are, so if you don’t win, but you can see how these items would help you, I urge you to buy a similar recovery tool kit :-)
Enter dontwanttobeanorexic’s Recovery Care Package Giveaway
Closes July 10th, so get entering!
You have a higher chance of winning the more points you gain, so the best thing to do would be to donate £5 to Beat through https://www.justgiving.com/Kasia-Dutch-Color-Run-for-Beat/ because that earns you 10 points and goes to a great cause :)
(via barefootinadress)
Anonymous asked: Did you make it home from the ward for Christmas? (In regards to your diary entries).
I went on leave home over Christmas, but it was a very close call and I had to go back after.
TW: Diary entries from my during my ED
It’s not the whole story, not by far. One set of entries, from a diary pre-hospital, got ripped out during a fight with my mother because she could use it as “evidence” and the other diary from the very beginning of my hospital stay is at my dad’s house but if I remember correctly it was incredibly dark and spoke mostly about calories, etc, and would be very triggering.
My Recovery Care Package Giveaway!
I know I’ve been promising this for ages and it might be a bit of anticlimax but I can’t afford a really extravagant giveaway so I hope you can all appreciate my intentions :)
In the package:
- Cocoa butter cream, for fading self-harm scars.
- A butterfly tattoo, to use in a similar way to The Butterfly Project.
- A non-metal hair elastic. When I was in hospital, I would use this in place of cutting by snapping the band against my skin - it gave some release without actually harming myself.
- Nail dip usually used to prevent nail biting, but it’s incredibly useful for stopping purging if you use it.
- A teddy, just for comfort.
- A de-stress facemask.
- A set of bath bombs, to treat yourself and give yourself a pampering.
- A small canvas to paint on when you’re in need of distraction.
- (Not pictured) A set of dot stickers, similar to the ones I use, that you stick around the house and when you see an item with a sticker, you pay yourself a compliment until it becomes a natural habit.
- (Not pictured) A few health bars, like Nakd or Trek.
- (Not pictured) A box of Yogi tea of your choice.
(The box insn’t included because I realised it raises postage price without having much practical use for recovery, so I’m sorry it’s in the pic.)
I’ve tried to make the tool kit unisex :-)
I know this isn’t anything cool like an iPhone or some cool clothes, but these things and the techniques you can learn from them really helped me in recovery and I hope they can do the same for you. These items aren’t expensive, and they’re available probably wherever you are, so if you don’t win, but you can see how these items would help you, I urge you to buy a similar recovery tool kit :-)
Enter dontwanttobeanorexic’s Recovery Care Package Giveaway
Closes July 10th, so get entering!
You have a higher chance of winning the more points you gain, so the best thing to do would be to donate £5 to Beat through https://www.justgiving.com/Kasia-Dutch-Color-Run-for-Beat/ because that earns you 10 points and goes to a great cause :)
(via bravegirl-eating)
Thank you to shimmerifyounasty for reminding me that those who matter, don’t mind and those who mind, don’t matter.
Big love x
Anonymous asked: Sweetheart, a while ago I posted a status on facebook about my struggle and recovery with anorexia. And it was terrifying! I felt everything you're feeling now. But it was okay. Because talking about it is okay. And if people aren't supportive, that's because they're cunts. That has no reflection on you. But what I found, was an overwhelming amount of support. Being honest about these things is very hard, but it is so brave, and recovering is so brave. You're a superhero. Love you girl. x
Normally that is what I receive, but I’m hyperaware that was before I had a few more less educated, more ignorant people on my friends list who didn’t know me when I was actually going through it, and also that before I would post scarcely about it whereas I intend to promote this hard to reach my sponsorship goal.
Thank you for your support though. I can see I’m probably just panicking over nothing <3
So that last post came from a conversation with someone after I posted a link to my Just Giving page on Facebook.
I guess like half of my Facebook friends knew about my anorexic past (People from tumblr, people from hospital, some people from my secondary school) but the other half didn’t (Other people from school, people from my primary school, friends of friends, friends from rave/parties) and although I briefly considered that fact… I didn’t really ponder it over enough.
I’m wondering now what those people who didn’t know will think now. Before they looked upon me as a normal girl, and I’m sure some of their opinions of me will be tarnished after finding out I used to be anorexic because of the stigma associated with eating disorders.
As bad as this sounds, I don’t think even my boyfriend knew about my eating disorder before. I didn’t mention it to him explicitly because it is part of my past and not something that affects me anymore, so there’d be no need to warn him or scare him off, in my opinion. I know some people would argue that you have to discuss everything with your partner, but for me this wasn’t something I was comfortable discussing with him because I’ve moved on from it. Having asked him to donate, we’ve still not discussed it properly, which is something I’m not sure what to think about to be honest.
It’s not like I hadn’t posted about eating disorders before, but jkdhsfakjshf…
I’m in a bit of a pickle now, because I want to raise money for Beat and it’s already on my Facebook so I’m going to continue promoting awareness for it, but I’m just now considering what people who didn’t know before will think now.
