Who do you trust? It’s an important question. If you’re trying to recover from an eating disorder, you’re going to have to trust someone. And by someone, I mean an adult. I’ll explain why in a second, but firstly, here’s an important piece of news…
The NHS will not cure you!
It’s a bit of a shock, isn’t it? Probably a bit of a shock to the NHS too (I haven’t told them yet). If you’re currently undergoing treatment from the NHS, please do tell your parents this, because if you’re all sitting around waiting for the NHS to magically make you better, it’s all going to go horribly wrong.
That’s not to say the NHS is not important. It performs one very simple but vital role. It keeps you alive until the one person who can cure you gets their shit together. And the one person who can cure you? Well, it’s you, I’m afraid. Real You.
Now, if you’re in treatment, or in the grip on anorexia, then you’re a bit fucked really because clearly Anorexic You is going to be dominating Real You, and all your decisions will be based on what Anorexic You wants (and, just to remind, what Anorexic You wants is for you to die). So you’re going to have to take the plunge and trust someone to take some decisions for you. And that’s really difficult, because anorexia is all about control, and so the last thing you want to do is give control to someone else.
But the thing is, you already have. You are not in control right now. Anorexic You is.
I was very, very lucky that I had a very trusting relationship with Kasia. Ever since she could talk, I’ve always been very open and honest with her, and always been very clear with her about how important honesty is. When it came to the crunch, she had to take a leap of faith. I promised her only two things:
- I would not make her get fat
- I would not give up until she was both healthy and happy
Now, to be honest, I had sod all to support the fact that I could achieve either of those things, which is why it was a leap of faith. Now I don’t know about you, or your parents, or your relationship with your family. But you are going to have to trust someone to help you when Anorexic You is just too strong…