Formerly - dontwanttobeaverage
Read below first ☺
My name's Kasia. I'm a 17 year old girl in recovery who's recovered from Anorexia. I've had Anorexia since May 2010. I also suffer from severe depression, anxiety and some OCD tendencies.
I've been in recovery since September 2010, but I only began taking recovery seriously, and wanting it for myself, in January 2011, once I realised I was wasting my life in hospital.
I went into hospital at the end of October 2010 and left in March 2011. I went to hell and back there.
I am at a healthy weight recommended for my height, but I will not discuss my weight or height because I believe any discussion of numbers leads to a disordered competition, so please do not ask.
I'm trying to lead a healthier lifestyle, whilst inspiring my followers to do the same by choosing recovery.
This is where I will write about my ups and my downs, and I hope to show those of you with eating disorders that recovery doesn't mean "getting fat". It means leading a healthy and happy life with freedom. My posts will mostly consist of personal posts, inspirational photos or quotes, research into the psychology of eating disorders, and also a few items on fitness and nutrition.
My daddy has a page on my blog called "The Gospel According to Dad" which I'm hoping will show you how much your ED affects those around you, and maybe if a parent of an eating disordered child sees my blog, they will see that they're not alone in this experience either.
Think of this as a recovery blog, but if are you triggered by talk of exercise then please read with caution as I sometimes post about my workouts. This is a place that inspires recovery, and also a healthy lifestyle.
I love giving advice, so if you need help with anything, I'm always here for you, even if it's just as a distraction. And you can always contact me by tagging a post with dontwanttobeanorexic.I answer privately if it's unrelated to me/my food posts/my blog.
• Face
• Snippets of my story
• Posts I am most proud of
• The Gospel According to Dad
• Intake
• Recipes
• Amazon Wishlist
• Contact
• Fashion, Beauty and DIY blog
• ED Behaviours Challenge
• Nothing you confess, could make me love you less. (Ask)
Someone told me I’m kooky.
I hate that word lol.
I think that appeals to people though I guess, because people have often said they like me because, as far as they can tell, I don’t care too much about what people think (I agree, I am my worst critic) and I don’t mind being the butt of the jokes (as long as it’s not offensive or ignorant.)
I’m empathetic as well, I think, and am often asked for advice.
Is this not the same as this?
Uhm, well, coz the answer would be the same.
*sigh
If I’m honest, I don’t think this has been entirely useful, and I’m more than half way through it. I’m very much a give-up-if-it-doesn’t-work-the-first-time kinda gal, so I’m pretty sure I won’t try it again. Maybe I could do it a year from now, see if things have changed, eh?
God, my answers to all of these have been rubbish.
It always depends on the day.
Some days I think I look really good in an item, another day I’ll want to rip it up and cry all day long in bed, because nothing looks good.
It fucking sucks.
EDs are not glamorous, nor fashionable. They make fashion suck.
I like my nails.
Fuck you, bitch, I don’t wanna answer these fucking questions about what I like about myself anymore, ok?! I don’t like myself, fuck you.
It didn’t make me smile while I was doing it, but realizing just now how well I did today, all things considered, made me smile because I’ve done myself proud and I think I’ve set a good example to my followers and I know now that I can deal with things without controlling my food or weight and it’s a really good thing to know.
lol, I don’t.
It changes every time I laugh, lol.
I hate it always though, but that’s just because… I don’t know. I always feel very self-conscious when I’m happy because I guess I don’t deserve it. It could also be because I hate my voice, but I don’t know.
My answers are so poor. I’m so bad. Sorry, guys.
I like it :-)
It’s one of the things I’m quite confident about, because people always compliment me on it.
I hate my teeth, but I can live with them - they’re not causing me any health problems so I can’t complain.
Also, smiling makes you feel happier - what more incentive do you need?!
Gahhh, I’m awful with keeping up with these so there’s going to be a few in a row.
I’m very attention-seeking. I hate that about myself. I can be quiet and serene sometimes, but when in a group… I don’t know. I just hate it.
I think it causes a lot of problems with my relationships as well, because it means I like drama in my life, so I always seek arguments for no reason.
The amount my boyfriend and I fight, and how often it’s caused by me nit-picking at tiny things he might have said or done or anything… Well, it’s ridiculous.
It needs to stop.
There’s bits I like and of course, there are bits I don’t like. I think it’s the same for everybody.
I like that I’m empathetic and quite a fun person, I think.
I don’t like that I’m needy and constantly need reassurance.
I’m an okay person, I like to think though.
God, that’s a question and a half!
Just an accumulation of things.
Genetics, environment, family, era, people I’ve met, things I’ve done, mistakes I’ve made.
Everything makes you who you are, and that’s why you change as you get older, because more things build up you on the foundation that’s already there.
I don’t think there’s a straight forward answer to that question.
I missed yesterday! Sorryyy.
Uhhh, I do this thing, that I kinda hate, but it kinda makes me smile more when I do it, because it’s my thing.
I crinkle my nose when I smile like this:
Not cute, lol. And I just took off my make up, nooo.
Today!
I posted a picture of me on here, and all my lovely followers were being their usual lovely selves and left lovely comments.
When I’m with my boyfriend.
Stupid, I know, because what happens when he leaves me… I’ll be stuck, hating myself.
But yeah, I feel loved when I’m with him. And not the kind of they-love-because-they-have-to love I feel with my family.
